Why do we wait for peace (Poem)

Why do we wait for peace?

We’ve suffered through tragedy
and we’ve walked through hell
we’ve tasted bitter tears on our lips
and cast coins into wishing wells

We’ve cashed checks too light
and paid bills that are too heavy
we’ve built walls to protect the homestead
and were flooded out when rivers broke their levy

We’ve worn boots of a solider
badges of the cop
we’ve been in stripes, been in chains,
been in some awful tight spots

We’ve danced at weddings
and wept for the dead
we’ve wished a goodnight’s sleep
upon a child, a lover, or an aged parent’s head.

We’ve born the whip
and we’ve been set free
we’ve worshiped at houses of the Lord
and sang a version of, Nearer my God to thee.

We’ve been taxed to death
worked our fingers to the bone
made love at a moment’s notice
when with a lover, we found ourselves alone

And yet, AND YET, we cannot see
is that I belong to you and you belong to me
if not by family, those strong ties that bind
but in our own humanity shared by all of humankind

Black, white, yellow, these things are hues
and for neither hyphen nor station
should any man be made to sing the blues
Nor for religion, nor arbitrary thing
because baby, at the end of the day
you’re still a human being

We’ve all been made to wander
our forty days and forty nights
we’ve all been made to struggle
our souls reaching for the light

No imaginary boundary will save you from the end
no faith, nor creed, nor wealth of wisdom will stay the hand of death
from dust you arose and to dust you will return
and with you goes everything you’ve ever done, everything you’ve ever learned

For whom the bell tolls, it tolls for us
and if every man made machine turns red with rust
and if mankind’s life ends for the blind, the seeing, and deaf
why do we refuse peace in our life, our childrens lives, our neighbors lives, our fellow countrymen’s lives, we will all otherwise intimately get to know
in death?

Why do we wait for peace, this state of grace
Why do we deny it to others simply for their race?
Why do we deny it to ourselves, for we too are made to suffer
For when we hate for simply hates sake
We linger in perpetual fear and can give peace to no other.

It is a cyclical ride we humans ride
A rollercoaster that never stops, a merry go round of knives
Why do we wait for peace we wait because we’re afraid
Afraid someone will get over on us
So we take any hope of peace, directly to our grave.

It’s greed that makes up linger in spaces Angels fear to trod
its fear that keeps us separated from other children of God
its retribution, its rage that keeps the blood flowing
and it’s those things that keep us from the Divine, the Merciful, the All knowing

Peace comes when we begin to let go
Peace comes like a gentle fall of snow and in the quiet spaces
in our hearts humanity is restored
Its when we discover our worth, we pick ourselves up from off the floor.

Its easy these days to pray and to give thoughts
its harder these days to be where the change starts
its easy to lecture, to point, to criticize
its hard to listen, to step back and see the world through foreign eyes

Why do we wait for peace?
These things I may never know
This place hidden beneath pains unyielding sorrow
like a garden under veils of winter’s snow
It’s a state of glory we all wish we could be
So Our Father Who Art in Heaven, no more waiting
Let this peace, begin with me.

F.E.

Filtered Water (poem)

I give my plants and dog filtered water
as i smoke a pack of marlboros a day
i do yoga and eat pizza
and sometimes when i’m conscientious
I’ll have a salad with ranch
i love rock and roll, show tunes, and opera
and i sing with a voice that sounds like it’s
been put through a cheese grater. And it cracks and I laugh
and i embarrass myself when no one’s here.
I listen to live music in my car
a friend once said that he thought I liked the crowd cheering
at my driving skills
i have a big fucking mouth
that most people hate
but my husband loves, for several reasons
but I love it when people like me
and hate it when people don’t.
I have an ego the size of montana
that is fragile as your most expensive crystal
and booze and me get along real well
especially if I am around another friend who is Irish
who can’t remember fucking lyrics
its David not Daniel
and I know he’s going to read this because he stalks my page.
and I love him for it.
I am not someone to invite to your birthday party
but I am someone to talk to when you’re feeling out of sorts
and kinda low
I won’t remember your anniversary, but I’ll remember the important things like how you felt, your scent, and those kick ass boots you wore.
I’ve the heart of a man but the soul of a woman
and the mouth of a sailor.
but I cry at “How Great Thou Art’ in a four part harmony
that sometimes I hear in my head when I’m staring up and far away
I love art, and dogs, and cats, and flowers and I hate anything squishy
and the word, “moist”
Jesus Christ, that word.
That’s why I am a homosexual. An adversity to that word and anything that may be that word.
I am a comma whore, if you haven’t noticed and I write just like I think
and I like to lecture and think long thoughts that are sometimes shallow as one motherfucker once pointed out
(but he’s as deep as a teaspoon himself, so…)
I speak when no one is listening
but I can hear when no one says a word
and understand exactly what they mean
But I write just like I think and if you’re impressed with that, come live in my head for a little while
I hate religion but I love God
and I hate people but I love certain ones
and I hate my body
but I’ll let you touch my butt if you promise to buy me tacos
I really like tacos
so this is me, at least how I’ve been in the time it took to write this
but I’m an artist (deal with it, bitch)
and It’s all prone to change.
and change again
but my love for you never will. That…THAT!!…will always be the constant part of me that exists solely for you.
For If I love you, I will always love you, even though we may be years, and miles, and terrible words and feelings apart
for that is the lot of this wretched creature, to live in an unfiltered world
to bring to you a cool glass of water when I’m thirsty and dying for my art.

Let us hope that God is a Liberal

I would like to know how it’s possible that a nation who proclaims its belief in God can subject it’s people to the likes of someone like Donald Trump?
I would like to know how it’s possible how Christians who find themselves supporting a man who is the worst kind of bigot ? How do they do it?
How do they balance the idea of racism and go to church on sunday and sing amazing grace, and how does it slip their mind that that song is so entrenched in slavery that to play it on the piano would show them that even the keys they play it on are black?
How is it possible? How is it possible that evangelical churches led the charge to undermine civil rights in this country as they did after the passage of the civil rights act of 1964? Infuriated over Brown v Board. And continue to do so – like bigotry isn’t a sin of the heart?
How is it possible to profess a faith that speaks about Christ leading men out of the bondage of sin the way Moses led the children of Israel out of bondage – to turn around and try and subject people to second class citizenship? To, in a sense, bind them to the power of religion out of pure spite and disdain?
How is it possible- that when black people say their lives matter and gay people marry, and trans people are denied the right to use a bathroom – that they are trying to destroy Christian rights? When Christian ‘rights’ have existed in this country simply to punish anyone who walked outside of what they consider moral? Or white? Or Christian as they see it to be?
Is it simply cognitive dissonance? Or is it something more?
Is it more along the lines of that AFrican proverb that says, “Beware the naked man who offers you his shirt?”
Meaning that, in this instance, perhaps you shouldn’t try to offer salvation to anyone when you yourself don’t possess it? And maybe when you condemn someone for reacting in a certain way to the pressures around them that , you in fact, condemn yourself? And perhaps you aren’t as ‘SAVED’ as you think you are?
That the original sin wasn’t theirs, but was a product of yours?
If then should these people stand before God- the one, the source of justice if you accept anamnesis, who is really going to be held responsible in the long run?
I know it isn’t fashionable to take society to task over things. People roll their eyes often times when you try and say that it takes a village to raise a kid. And they reject the notion that environment really has an impact on the way people turn out, although they exist in societies and are products of them themselves.
My father used to always preach that if God didn’t destroy america he would have to resurrect Sodom and Gomorrah and apologize to it. And of course it would get people nodding their heads and saying ‘amen’ because in their mind, sodom was a city filled to the brim with roaming bands of homosexuals.
But I agree with my father’s premise. But not for the same reason.
Ezekiel chapter 16: 49 says, “Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy”
When you see people carrying signs and shouting, ‘black lives matter’ it’s because since this nation was founded, they never mattered. And the reason they never mattered was due – in large part- to some American Churches (Bob Jones Sr. Vs. The United States). Jim Crow was preached out of pulpits. And schools were built by Christian churches who used their 501c3 to do so, were furious – and sued- to keep that right. And even though they lost, the  lone dissenter – Bill Rehnquist – became this nation’s chief Justice until 2005.
They stood in the way of Gay marriage and some of these same churches are trying once again to deny people rights as they aid rogue states (Liberty Law Center- a product of Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University) in passages of discriminatory lgbt laws that violate their rights as citizens of the United States in 20 states.
all because of the actions of this ‘immoral majority’. Every wicked thing in the hearts of man is represented in ONE person trying to become the head of state. Every wicked deed produced by the church to acquire power – is represented in one man. And the fertile field of the GOP – where he was grown – finds itself powerless to stop him. This ‘stop trump movement’ headed up by the likes of Erik Erikson – has failed. Not because they didn’t try, but because of the character of those who tried.
Franklin Graham stood some time in the not too distant past and decried that Stonewall inn, which the U.S. is going to declare a national landmark, would be a monument to sin. Which is interesting because I think these churches are.
When the ‘WORLD’ is better at trying to set men free than the churches are?
Suicide rates of gay youth are extremely high
homelessness of lgbt youth is almost 40 percent of the entire number nationwide.
domestic abuse numbers are higher in same sex homes due to external pressure
More African Americans live in poverty, are more likely to be murdered, and are more likely to lose their freedom because of the war on drugs and other things.
Mexicans have fled their homes and immigrated here because of that very same war which has bound the African American has caused a civil war in their country because of the War on Drugs – and we are unconcerned.
And in the background pulling the strings? You guessed it.
If we remove benevolence from God (the liberal version of him) and just make him simply a JUST God (The conservative version), Donald Trump would be this nation’s potential punishment. Despite popular belief, and despite the fragmented cast system we’ve put in place that allocates privilege depending on demographics, this nation will rise or it will fall – together. And the churches- that immoral majority- bought and paid for him.
“…What rough beast, its hour come around at last, slouches toward Bethlehem to be born.”
~ William Butler Yeats.
How poetic.
Maybe he will be elected. Maybe he’ll build that wall. But the funny thing about walls is – not only do they keep people out – they also keep people in.  But maybe that wall will spare them from our own self fulfilled prophecy.
Let’s hope the liberals are right.

The tapestry (poem)

The tapestry is old
Threadbare
Pulled apart slowly over time
Bleached by the light of day
And dust has settled upon its face

It was once beautiful and refined
With rich colours woven throughout
The envy and pleasure of those who gazed upon it
And now its ignored
Passed by
Forgotten

It waits to be restored, recaptured, and loved
It hangs there, day after day hoping to catch the eye of a passerby
But the gaze that falls upon it is fleeting
a spark of interest, a glimmer, an acknowledgement and then gone as
Life gets busy

And like that tapestry. Love will hang there
Until it doesn’t
Until it can no longer hold itself suspended
The props that held it aged too, frayed, and let go

And the passerby might notice something different
A spot clean where the art used to hang
And find in a moment of despair that all that remains is crumpled and destroyed

And he may pull it out from behind the furniture
Hold it gently in his hands
And feel a sadness for the beauty, the love, that used to be
A reminiscent glory and a bitter anger for mismanaged time

And he’ll gather the ruins of what remains
And while on his knees
He’ll bid it a sad adieu
And like the tapestry
The love he once treasured so much, will lay limp and wasted and gone
A sad day indeed

The day love dies in his arms

Ghosts (poem)

As clouds gather on the horizon
And lightning flashes across the black anvil clouds
They come again, the storm watchers

I can see them
Right outside my periphery
A glimpse of Shadow in the flash
A pair of eyes
Here a moment, and then gone

only to return in greater numbers

Another face
Another and another

Charged by the electricity in the air
They push closer to the veil
Disturbed from their sleep by the frosted hearts of man
Slaves, master, courtesan
Man, woman, child
Their mouths gape in silent words
Ghosts

They’ve come to witness the storm
As drums of mankind’s discontent beat like rolls of thunder
And they’ll be there as the bow breaks and the cradle falls
As the clouds burst forth and man pours out his anger
to greet the surprised to their new realities

I can see them
Oh my God I can see them

They stand in blood soaked garments
Whip marks fresh still upon their backs
Nooses tied limp at their shoulders

A man with numbers tattooed on his arms
Frowns deep as caverns
Still as the grave
Watching, waiting, with eyes accusing, disappointed and hard as stone

I can see them
In life they were separate by station
Ranked from best to least
But death makes us all equal
And shoulder to shoulder the march out of the dark

Oh, my soul I can still see them

Oh sweet Jesus here they are

And they’re not happy

image

Do you (Poem)

I love the way you do you
With the way you keep your hair
And the mess you leave when your not here
I love the way you smell, what you murmur at two am as you sleep
And how you think I’m brilliant

I love the way you do us
The way I miss you when your in the living room
Or the way you make me go with you for cigarettes and our Sunday pastries

We’re in the body of Christ
At least that’s what they named this damn city
But I’m in paradise just the same
I don’t think blue waters over white sands would change much
Or streets of gold for that matter

I love the way you do me
I can’t finish this without a disclaimer
But I’ve been criticized by outsiders for my role in this marriage
If they only knew how we got down
They’d blush and get quiet

Do you
Do us
Do me

You poor, poor busy man
Someone should take pity on you….

Heh

You like it

Oh, Professor (a psalm for knowledge)

Oh professor
Teach me your stories
Tell me your truth
And give to me your life’s ambition
So that I may carry its burden with me

Teach me, weigh me down
Bid my mind to think
To ponder, to wonder,
And put lines on my face
And truth in my heart

Be that Thorn in my side
The lessons that cause me to question
Turn what I know as concrete truth
Into a porous vessel

Heave it upon my shoulders
And bend my back a little
With the weight of the world
So that I become not a sophist
But a speaker of true things

I’d rather be blinded by hot white light
And walk in darkness with ears that know truth once it’s spoken
Than be shrouded in foggy uncertainty
With only a moments notice before tripping over my feet

I’ll accept it gladly, the pain and the pleasure
That makes me odd, rather queer
And know that while I can change a life
I’ll be heartbroken to know, even with this collective knowledge
That I am powerless to change the world

Dear God ( a prayer for today)

Of all the things I can pray for
Besides peace and the end to war
Is that I may be a light in the dark
In that pure place where we go
To greet the day, a friend, or lover
With gentle voice and healing hands
To show mercy when there is hurt
And show love to my fellow man

I pray for those in peril
As they cross that refugee mile
For those who receive them and take them in
I pray that neither will tire.

I pray for those who raise their fist
Isis, isil, and I.S that you show them wisdom of all the ages
That life doesn’t need to be lived like this

I pray for France and for Lebanon
For Palestine and Israel
That brothers Muslim and Jew
Can know peace for themselves as well

I pray for my soul and my country
That there can be a healing here today
So that our family can come to the table together
To feast and laugh and pray

Of all the things I can pray for
From moonlight to rising sun
I must acknowledge my helpless soul
And say My Lord, Thy will be done.

Husband (We are the body erotic)

Tangled sheets and tousled hair
At three a.m you murmur
Updates for me in your dreams about work and the life that you live when you go there
But what really gets me
Is when you’re awake you need
And that need gets me higher and higher

See, my husband I exist to feed you
All the things you desire and need to
Make our lives much sweeter on this bayou
This life’s deep river
With lips so tender
I plan to keep doing good by you

My lover, my friend, my beginning my end
I can’t quite find me anymore
Because when you are in me
You’re always in me
When our clothes lay strewn on the floor

Or when we’re out on the town
With the windows rolled down
And the sunlight streaming inside
You’re still in me, the very breath that I breath
And without it I would surely die

We are the body erotic, burnt
Eros and gentle platonic I can’t see with my eyes anymore
Our love is great love
Sent from above, have mercy
Lord, what would I do without it?

To the man who called me a faggot

Leviticus faggot

I am a faggot
I’m gonna own that name
I’ve been one all my life
It’s my claim to fame
My name is written down in your holy book
Side eyed by every single prophet
So bad ass am I
Hitler tried to stop it
Yeah bitch,
I’m a faggot

I am proud of that name
Been real about myself for fifteen years now
Can u say the same?
So scared of me you try to reach through the screen
So hated for what you don’t know son
so scared of what u might be

I come from a long line
Of people who changed the world
From Alan Turing and Katharine Hepburn
We’re the ones who made this bitch turn

This planet you’re sitting in
Was made by us
So flawless when we entered the scene
Your Prohibitions turned to dust

I’m rising like a star
This faggots not alone
I’m surrounded by the spirits of millions like me
That I’ve claimed as my own

So yeah, faggot is me
That’s the song I’ll sing
Master and commander of my truth
Now come on over. Kiss this faggots ring.