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Find your empty boys (poem)

Please don’t leave me here
by myself staring up at the cracks in the ceiling
I need you. don’t you understand?
I need you to be with me when I rage
when I scream at the injustice of the world.

How can you just vanish like this?
When I’m drowning in my own mind
as I lash out with lightning words off my tongue and rage like a river?
how can you call me friend, and turn your back
when my own grave dirt is under my fingernails?

Don’t you like my nakedness?
are you upset my cock isn’t the only thing thinking?
You like it when you point me at someone you don’t like
am I your greater fool? Do you dive for my seat when the
music stops?
is that how this is supposed to go?

You know how bad it is for me
you knew how deep the grave was dug
how deep my madness became when my fist broke free of the sod
and I dragged myself to standing
Don’t you love your vampire?

how can you just depart from me like this?
you should know not to play with dead things
we aren’t the most patient of beings
we tend to speak our minds

You shouldn’t have left me here, unattended
I could wander out into the sun
when all I wanted was your presence
when all I wanted was your love

You shouldn’t have left me here.
I’m not that kind of boy that’ll let you come first.
I’m a real boy. A real flesh and blood boy.
Not a caricature for you to control.
And certainly not your whore.

Find your empty boys
the ones who can’t protest your ambitions
I am way out of your league
I wanted your love. That would have set me free
I guess I’ll have to do the rest by myself.