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Telling it like it is vs Being Plain Spoken


There’s a difference between someone who speaks plainly and someone who ‘tells it like it is.’
The first is born of time as well as deciding what’s important and the second is born of a lack of home training.
There are so many people out there ready to ‘tell it like it is,’ hell, we’ve just elected a president whose supporters say this is his greatest feature.
But if you really want to confront something – try confronting yourself.
Because you see, when you confront yourself and all that’s wrong with you – when you take a deep hard look at what’s going on between your ears and in your heart – when you decide to face down your demons, you’ll find they’re legion.
You’ll discover that for every negative thing you can say about someone else, there are ten things someone could say about you.
That – starts a journey of self-discovery. You figure out what’s important and what isn’t. You’ll find out who your friends are and who are simply acquaintances. You start to establish boundaries. You figure out what you’ll accept in your life and what you won’t.
Essentially, that ‘I tell it like it is’ person, grows up, stops being superficial and decides that they’re too old for people’s bullshit.
Along the way – they’ll find out that a lot of people don’t like that. But then right around the corner – they’ll realize that a lot of people just don’t matter.
I am not saying that these people are less – but if the people you talk to on social media will not either attend your wedding or – better yet – funeral, why sweat them?
Most people in life are lucky if they find a spouse and a friend or two – to walk through this life with. That, no matter what, will always be there. Worry about your relationship with them. Tell them, often, how much you love them. What they mean to you. Be willing to get raw with them and let them see what and who you really are and be willing to see what and who they are with that same measure of acceptance.
Those are the ties that bind. Those are the connections that mean the most – not the guy who speaks to you as a woman the way he does because he doesn’t love his mother, not the uber-feminist who can’t defend her point of view and tries to invalidate your point of view because you happen to have a penis, not the political troll, nor the religious kook, nor some person who dismisses you because there’s fire in your speech – who can’t conceptualize your life or articulate your little finger.
Don’t let it fill up your space, don’t let them live rent free in your head.
Any relationship worth having comes at some measure of risk involved, sure. But choose wisely and you’ll avoid the social media’s equivalent of the clap.
9.9/10’s of the ‘tell it like it is crowd’ only use you to describe 100 percent who they are.
It may cost you popularity – it may cost you ‘friends’, ‘likes’, and ‘follows’, but I guarantee you – at the end of the day you’re better off. Walking the tightrope of ‘oh, God, what do I say to this? How do I respond to that?” is no way to live. If you wouldn’t put up with that kind of life from a spouse, why live that way with people you may never meet in life?
Polonius in Hamlet said this, “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.”
Basically, know you so when someone steps to you with some crazy bullshit – you can show them the lobby where they can take a seat and wait to get called on.