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My review of first 10 hours of Mass Effect: Andromeda


(All images owned by the gods at Bioware, EA, The Citadel, and possibly Heaven) …..(thank you)



Gamer…..not the super geeked out graphics card doubles as a Romulan cloaking device …EX8734 something something flux capacitor something….please slide my food under the door gamer….but check.

I’ve loved Bioware since I discovered their storytelling abilities (See Novelist). With the Mass Effect Series and Dragon Age Series – I found myself completely immersed in both worlds and happily so.

I found myself invested in both game’s characters – totally amazed as the stories opened up in a way that let us decide the fates of everyone while the games themselves became visually stunning.

And now, like everyone else I bought the game in hopes of returning – while not with Commander Shepard (may he rest in peace) – at least to the capable hands of the Bioware storytellers in Mass Effect: Andromeda. And I played the first ten hours.

While I bitched to my better half about not having an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator of a graphics card (I am running a Geforce 750i – which runs everything almost in all low settings which pisses me off at Dell and I refuse to buy another card because dammit – what the hell!!! – but that’s another story) I still find the game beautiful.

And freaking huge

I have a feeling that this ten-hour play through – as fast as it went and trust me it went fast – is just a scratch at the surface of how much stuff is going to be out there.

The gameplay is rather simple, although I have had to get familiar with the keyboard, but suddenly a bad guy appears and I am relieved to be able to unload the familiar sounding machine gun into his big dumpy head.

So far we’ve gotten a bunch of old tech – which is never a good thing.

An Asari checking old tech out – because, that’s what they seem to always want to do.

And unlike the beautiful Citadel waiting in the clouds in the first three games – you have a whole bunch of half awake, half asleep, colonists, who’ve jumped (warped, flung, sashayed?) into a crap sandwich.

Essentially, everything that could have gone wrong, has. And there is infighting, and power grabbing, and bad ass Krogan, all of which is very Mass Effect-y.

So, there are those who do have a graphics card that can make the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs who have been noticing some issues with the faces of the characters…

But quite frankly, I am not here for the lips.

(I’m here for your daughter, Chuck)

Kidding, I’m here for the story. The Nostalgia. And the Krogan. Because – duh, literally, duh.

So with a rating scale of 1-10, one being The Last Action Hero and Ten being Aliens 

This is Aliens. (R.I.P Bill Paxton) I am totally stoked for this game.

Bioware, it’s good to be home.

I’ll update this review as the game goes live.