If only I…(National Poetry Month)

demetrius-washington-626606-unsplash

 

unsplash-logoDemetrius Washington

 

If only I had leaned into that touch
that September morning before you left
the sheets pooling at your hips
my body sore from the night prior

I had lain awake all night
your head on my chest wishing
for the morning to refuse to break across the sky
leaving us naked and bathed in darkness

I saw the hurt in your eyes
at the sudden sullenness in my gaze
as I bit down on a thousand words
of panic at the back of my throat

I loved you
with your careless hair and your soft grey eyes
and your warm body and your powerful back
the shape of your lips that kissed me
and the submissiveness

If only I’d taken care
to dress with you and walk you down
the flight of stairs to my door
and kissed you once more before sending you away
into the morning sun

You had another life
was it a job? A home? A wife?
you wouldn’t say and I didn’t ask
when we met at the airport bar

I didn’t care then
but I do care now
if only I’d listened to the voice that warned me
somewhere underneath my second
bourbon and seven
when I saw the tie you were wearing and smiled

You were here on business for a month
and you were my lover as well
and we worked til daybreak often
laughing and drinking and lovemaking

Do you want me to come back?
No, I didn’t want you to leave
If only I’d said that
I wouldn’t be left here with only the smell
of your body on my bedclothes

Self love (poem)

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Men,

Turn your eyes inward
And see the glory of what you are
See the rise and fall of your breath
The pulse in your neck
Perhaps linger at the swell of your chest

feel the roundness of your belly and know that you are fed
Place your palm over your left Peck
And know that you aren’t dead

Admire the peculiarity of your swollen sex, the curve of your right hip
See the toes poking out from under your duvet
Now trace your gaze upon the blue veins in your wrist

Feel the thunder when you speak
And taste the words as they spill from your lips
Smell the perfumes of the morning
When the sun crests the trees cedar tips

Living your life through the eyes of others
Will never slake your thirst
Know that you are living, breathing, thriving!
And have been since your birth

Shake your mane of hair, lion
Stretch your fingers towards the sky
Taste the bread, the grapes, and sweet things
Drink the water, the wine, and the rye

Live strong,  even when in peril, live even when in doubt
Don’t waste another day
Own your own glory, beauty, and passion
Love yourself with clarity
And you’ll live another day!