It’s not something I do often
When I am caught up in the moment
I wish I could think.
Instead of just feel.
My rational mind leaves a lot to be desired
I search through life hands outstretched, blindly
from one feeling to the next
intimately getting to know the texture of the world
Please, let me forget that moment
there on my knees
when I begged – I don’t do that
I don’t break down
No, not me
Someone plucked a chord on my heartstrings
the tune reverberated through to my bones
I miss you so much my teeth ache
Your presence now a ghost in the room
There is a desire inside of me
a loneliness that I cannot seem to fill
as barren as the streets of late November
save for scattered leaves tossed by the bitter wind
I had created for myself a castle
guards posted watch on every single wall
the mage in the tower and the beast in the dungeon
and upon the throne was I, Lord of it all.
Battle-hardened, World Wary,
I was no match for the warmth of the sun
And now I am in mourning, my friend
these walls as gray as my mood
I wish I would not feel so blindly
but I can’t help it, otherwise, I’d truly blind
but I see with the heart’s eyes only
and that kind of love, is the killing kind.
I lost my dignity the other day
Haven’t bothered searching for it, true
I wish I were somewhat different sometimes
I wish I were someone like you