Filtered Water (Poem)

(Photo Izzy Gerosa)

I give my plants and dog filtered water
as i smoke a pack of Marlboro’s a day
i do yoga and eat pizza
and sometimes when i’m conscientious
I’ll have a salad with ranch
i love rock and roll, show tunes, and opera
and i sing with a voice that sounds like it’s
been put through a cheese grater. And it cracks and I laugh
and i embarrass myself when no one’s here.
I listen to live music in my car
a friend once said that he thought I liked the crowd cheering
at my driving skills
i have a big fucking mouth
that most people hate
but my husband loves, for several reasons
but I love it when people like me
and hate it when people don’t.
I have an ego the size of montana
that is fragile as your most expensive crystal
and booze and me get along real well
especially if I am around another friend who is Irish
who can’t remember fucking lyrics
its David not Daniel
and I know he’s going to read this because he stalks my page.
and I love him for it.
I am not someone to invite to your birthday party
but I am someone to talk to when you’re feeling out of sorts
and kinda low
I won’t remember your anniversary, but I’ll remember the important things like how you felt, your scent, and those kick ass boots you wore.
I’ve the heart of a man but the soul of a woman
and the mouth of a sailor.
but I cry at “How Great Thou Art’ in a four part harmony
that sometimes I hear in my head when I’m staring up and far away
I love art, and dogs, and cats, and flowers and I hate anything squishy
and the word, “moist”
Jesus Christ, that word.
That’s why I am a homosexual. An adversity to that word and anything that may be that word.
I am a comma whore, if you haven’t noticed and I write just like I think
and I like to lecture and think long thoughts that are sometimes shallow as one motherfucker once pointed out
(but he’s as deep as a teaspoon himself, so…)
I speak when no one is listening
but I can hear when no one says a word
and understand exactly what they mean
But I write just like I think and if you’re impressed with that, come live in my head for a little while
I hate religion but I love God
and I hate people but I love certain ones
and I hate my body
but I’ll let you touch my butt if you promise to buy me tacos
I really like tacos
so this is me, at least how I’ve been in the time it took to write this
but I’m an artist (deal with it, bitch)
and It’s all prone to change.
and change again
but my love for you never will. That…THAT!!…will always be the constant part of me that exists solely for you.
For If I love you, I will always love you, even though we may be years, and miles, and terrible words and feelings apart
for that is the lot of this wretched creature, to live in an unfiltered world
to bring to you a cool glass of water when I’m thirsty and dying for my art.