You loved my fire….

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unsplash-logoMohamed Nohassi

You said you were attracted to my fire, passion
you saw me burning from ten thousand miles away
We were born on the same date
two children of the God Mars
and I was enchanted by your kindness toward me

It was an easy thing
Fire and fire burns brighter, higher,
illuminating the night
You pointed out the familiar
and I could taste the same poison
on your skin, I was familiar with

With ease, our sex, the weight around our neck
bound to who we are by social chains
I found a friend that I needed
a doppelganger, an echo, perhaps vanity
seductively talking to my own ego

You’d crossed the bridge and created love
without the complications of the flesh
a pure thing, this little inferno
which promised the potential of a future
a friendship to span the ages

Yet something went wrong
a cold east wind blew in through the night
and before I had known you crossed back
across the gulf leaving me holding
the little inferno in my hands
making excuses for yourself the entire way

But one thing you weren’t expecting
was the actions I would take
as I cast the friendship down and watched the bridge burn
I realized fifteen years prior when I didn’t burn so sure
I would have acquiesced to the idea of time and place and purpose

Yet, that isn’t my truth now
I rage equally in love and in hate
in fear and in pain
I burn in the night the same for all who needs me
but I do have one question,
now that your choices have been made
and the bridge between us has been destroyed

“How do you like my fire now?”

 

Fire The Butler (poem)

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10 thousand you told her
when you covered your tracks
10 thousand was the number she 
rattled off to me over a static phone line

I stood in the battering wind
my device pressed hard to my ear
trying to understand the significance
and depth of your lie
as well as your flagrant disregard for me

Did you ask him for 10 thousand
the gears in my head were working overtime
what do I say? What had you done?
10,9,8,7,6
No, I didn’t I replied
5,4,3,2,1

two truths smacked me as it whipped
through the lifeline pressed against my face
around the tall library off to my right
The first, you cheated on her
the second, I was your scapegoat
the poor boy, the sometimes desperate
and you – your money and your lies
entitled you to a
Flieschman’s Whipping boy
i denied any wrong doing, any involvement,
I knew nothing of the 10 thousand

Antagonism reached my ears
as the line disconnected
staring at the device like it was a snake
I texted you a question
Dude – what the fuck – tell a brother
Silence
silence
A reply

I’ll talk to you when I can face my shame
you’d said
I haven’t heard a word from you since
That’s okay – its cool
I saw your woman a year or so later
she proudly showed me her ring
and forgot her words before she’d hung up

I noticed the desperation in her eyes
even though the diamond was her truth
it didn’t convince her of what had gone on
her gaze was frantic as she begged me to respond appropriately
silently we communicated what we knew
but polite society prevented it from tumbling out

I knew my place, I knew my role
as I walked through the mall with my meager gifts
bought with hard earned money
we passed each other in a book store
you couldn’t even look at me
I watched you walk away into your lie
and I with my scars and pretty paper wrapped Christmas gifts
the pauper fired the Butler